Xmas, Beat the Champs Roll Around Once Again

Christmas means different things to different people. For some, it’s going to church and celebrating the birth of a Jewish guy who — the story goes — is the son of God. And this was in an age when there was no child tax credit on your income tax. Which probably is just as well. Can you imagine Joseph and Mary trying to explain that to the IRS?

Say hello to model Stephy C. For those interested, you can follow her on Twitter at @JustStephyC. You’re welcome.

Where were we? Oh, yes. Christmas. For some Christmas is about the celebration of consumer spending. For others — Christians and other religions as well as total non-believers — it is a day off from work. Provided that you have a job. Otherwise, Christmas just as easily can be called Tuesday. Oh, well.

Once upon a time, Christmas in America meant all the stores were closed — with the possibly exception of a Chinese retaurant that would do great business solely on patronage from Jewish customers. Nowadays, you can find Walgreen’s open with the possibility of a McDonald’s, if your local franchise owner sees fit to stay open (something that headquarters urged its franchisees to do).

So what does any of this have to do with anything? Not much. We’re merely providing words around which to place photographs of attractive females. It’s almost 4 a.m. Christmas morning, and Samta Claus has yet to visit, so the Dr Pepper and deviled eggs left out for him might not be around by the time when/if he does decide to visit.

These are the Chicago Honey Bear Dancers. Not to be with the dancers who used to perform at Bears games.

The editorial staff at elliottharris.com does feel compelled to provide some information in today’s edition. Well, you already know it’s Christmas; what else can we come up with?

Danielle Maddox is a model, personal trainer in Chicago and bikini competitor. And looks good in a Santa hat.

How about the Beat the Champions bowling contest target scores? They will be rolled today on Comcast SportsNet at 10 a.m. Actually, Kelly Kulick and Pete Weber already set the target scored on Dec. 10 at Lakewood Bowl in RIchton Park, Ill.

And how do I know this? Becuase I had a front-row seat to the event. Let the record show that this was my first time at a Beat the Champs function. With a little luck and some spare time, I will attend again sometime this century.

So what’s there to do on Christmas? You mean other than bond with family and for some in the audience to ponder what the birth of Jesus might mean? Thankfully, there will be the Houston Rockets playing the Chicago Bulls at the UNited Center at 7 p.m. Not that the nationally televised game figures to be a classic — instant or otherwise. But the game will feature the Luvabulls dance team, which will perform its annual holiday halftime show. At halftime. On the holiday. My, what good timing.

Anyway, if things go according to plan (which they remarkably have more often than not in 2012), we will have video of the Luvabulls’ effort for Wednesday’s effort on this site. Until then, you just might have to settle for the following video from the Bulls’ entertainment department:

Bikini competitor Stephanie Mahoe is in the spirit of the season.

Let’s see. It’s December 25. You need to find a Christmas present for someone.

Boy, are you screwed and out of luck. I mean: Relax. You have plenty of time. Well, you do, if it’s for 2013. If it’s for 2012, you might be feeling something of a time constraint. So you’re thinking about going to Walgreen’s to see if there are any more Chia Pets or something like that. Let me save you a trip and provide a tip.

The annual Jay the Joke Holiday Cookbook is available. Very reasonably priced, too: It’s free.

All you have to do is download it. You can think of the cookbook as the 21st century equivalent to The Joy of Cooking. Or not.

Regardless, the cookbook does have some intriguing recipes. Of course, yours truly is more than a little biased because of contributing a few recipes to the project. This year’s latest contribution from the Harris household is for Real Imitation Crab Cakes.

Bill McCormick, who runs the jaythejoke.com web site and oversees the cookbook, has put together a carefully crafted collection of recipes plus photos.

My favorite part, however, just might be the cover. You can access the book for downloading by clicking here.

Even if you don’t enjoy cooking and you don’t know anyone does cook (while enjoying or not), the cookbook does have entertainment value. It’slight-hearted. It’s fun. And, as far as anyone knows, the recipes do work.

Bon appetit!

Some Christmastime entertainment:

More Christmas songs? Slightly more traditional. Hey, why not:

The video-research department worked overtime to come up with more holiday-themed video — no sacrifice is too great for the great folks who frequent this site (the traffic-monitoring department at elliottharris.com calculates that we are on pace to come close to 1 million page views in December and possibly surpass 1 million — so thank you all).

Yeah, I know you’re interested in figures of another kind, so here we go with some video (sorry if they’re not all holiday-themed — as if that’s a major concern, right?:

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