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Predictable: Urlacher Out; Pole Dancing In?

August 5, 2012 @ No Comments

Some things are so predictable. Such as Brian Urlacher missing some time in training camp. The Chicago Bears and their star middle linebacker know the important thing is for him to be healthy for the regular season. Which means Bears fans can take a deep breath and relax about his failure to play in the team’s Soldier Field Family Night practice Friday (Aug. 3).

“We have a couple of guys we are still holding out,” Bears coach Lovie Smith said. “Brian’s knee is still a little bit sore. And a couple of other guys. But they should be good to go next week.”

Next week? How about Week 1 of the regular season and all the others? Age always is a concern for a 34-year-old linebacker. There is a fine line betwen veteran savvy and slightly diminished skill. Not that anyone is saying Urlacher is in decline, but there comes a point in any athlete’s career that such a state occurs. And injury certainly doesn’t help.

Adrianne Curry is to be at Wizard World Chicago Comic Con. Possibly in this outfit? Hey, some of us can dream. OK?

On that bright note, Bears fans, here are some numbers to ponder, compliments of the fine folks at PredictionMachine.com. The site offers this projection for the 2012 Bears:

Game-by-game projections for the Bears (with win percentage in parentheses):
Week 1: Win 28.3-15.7 vs. Colts (81.1)
Week 2: Lose at Packers 30.5-21.2 (27.9)
Week 3: Win 21.6-17 vs. Rams (62.8)
Week 4: Lose 26-19.6 at Cowboys (33.9)
Week 5: Win 20.4-15.7 at Jaguars (63.4)
Week 6: Bye
Week 7: Win 22.9-22.8 vs. Lions (50.3)
Week 8: Win 27.7-23.4 vs. Panthers (60)
Week 9: Win 23.4-20.3 at Titans (58)
Week 10: Lose 19.6-18.8 at Texans (47.9)
Week 11: Lose 20.3-15.4 at 49ers (36.3)
Week 12: Win 27.5-16 vs. Vikings (79.6)
Week 13: Win 19.9-16.5 vs. Seahawks (59.5)
Week 14: Win 24-18.2 at Vikings (65.3)
Week 15: Lose 27.3-25.1 to Packers (44.8)
Week 16: Lose 21.9-20 at Cardinals (45)
Week 17: Lose 23.7-19.9 at Lions (40.5)

That totals out to the Bears averaging 22.2 points per game and allowing 20.9 in a season with 8.5 victories and no postseason berth. Something says the Bears won’t win 8.5 games. Just a guess from someone who isn’t very good at math but realizes how difficult it is to win a half-game.

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Nadia Sharid will be conducting workshops for this. What a wonderful world it can be sometimes.

Pole dancing, anyone? The editorial staff at elliottharris.com is in complete agreement that the event should be an Olympic sport.

Probably best-suited for the Summer Games, if you consider the bodily damage competing outdoors in such skimpy outfits could cause.

As a consolation to those who yearn for such activity. the Great Midwest Pole Dance Competition & Convention 2012 will be held Aug. 24-26 at the Tinley Park (Ill.) Convention Center.

Vendor and sponsorship information is available by contacting Mary Ellyn Weissman at Info@MidwestPoleDancing.com

Tickets and information are available at MidwestPoleDancing.com.

Nadia Sharif will be conducting workshops and performing. Maybe someone can organize a movement to have the International Olympic Committee consider pole dancing. Think of it as a great alternative to beach volleyball on a rainy day. Anyway, here is a sample of Nadia’s skills:

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Hugh Hefner and Playboy friends at his Midsummer's Night Dream party.

Let the record show that Playboy’s Midsummer’s Night Dream party was Saturday night (Aug. 4) at the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles. The guess at the mail room at elliottharris.com is the invitation from Hugh Hefner must have been lost somewhere between the Mansion and this site’s corporate headquarters.

Even so, a disappointed editorial staff at elliottharris.com will carry on. And with a little luck be able to run photos and video from the event soon.

In the interim, here is Playboy Playmate Kayla Collins (Miss August 2008). Maybe she received an invitation to the party.

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