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Fearless forecast: Chicago Cubs general manager Jed Hoyer (or maybe president of baseball operations Theo Epstein or possibly both) will garner votes for National League executive of the year if the team can deal Alfonso Soriano to a contending team this season. With a home run Thursday (Aug. 9), Soriano joined Andre Dawson as the only players in team history with 20 homers in their first six season with the club. Another Soriano-related forecast: He won’t be joining Dawson in the Hall of Fame. Yeah, going out on a limb like that does take insight, intestinal fortitude, etc. OK, maybe not.
There is a Lolo Jones mention, if you scroll down. And even if you don't.
* Cubs pitcher Chris Volstad will a game this season. The starting in the team’s 8-5 victory vs. the Cincinnati Reds on Thursday night at Wrigley Field, Volstad is winless in 22 starts since July 17, 2011. There is no guarantee the victory will come in a game of baseball, however.
* Cubs right-hander Matt Garza, who is out indefinitely with a stress reaction in his right elbow but wants to pitch again this season, will not do so — unless he learns to throw left-handed.
* The media will play up exhibition games as if they have significance beyond coaches observing players on the field.
* The Chicago Bears will not win a contest this season in which running back Matt Forte, quarterback Jay Cutler, linebacker Brian Urlacher and defensive lineman Julius Peppers all do not play in the same game — as was the case in Thursday’s 31-3 loss to the Denver Broncos at Soldier Field. On the bright side, attendance was less than 50,000, so fewer fans were disappointed at the product that cost regular-season prices.
* Speaking of Bears fans, at some point this season, they will realize Urlacher is not going to play forever. Of course, they would settle for all of the regular season with the hope there will be a postseason.
* Center Dwight Howard moving from the Orlando Magic to the Los Angeles Lakers will mean the Lakers will challenge for the 2013 NBA title — and have a high-profile player to ease the pain when Kobe Bryant ultimately retires. Of course, before Howard signs any long-term deal with L.A., he will make sure he gets to star in any future “Superman” movies.
Anna Kournikova on the cover of a Russian magazine this year.
* White Sox third baseman Kevin Youkilis will host an event to benefit Youk’s Kids on Aug. 23 from 6-8:30 p.m. at Howl at the Moon, 26 Hubbard St. The event — the first for Youk’s Kids in Chicago — will feature dueling rock ‘n’ roll pianos, live and silent auctions and celebrities. VIP tickets ($100) include an autographed photos and VIP giveaway. Main event tickets are $50. Tickets are available at www.youkskids.org or (617) 964-9685.
* Your humble correspondent will make it to Wizard World Chicago Comic Con this weekend at Stephens Convention Center in Rosemont and return with video for this site.
The NFL exhibition season does mean the return of something positive: cheerleaders. Well, except for the Bears and a few other teams that are yet to enter the 20th century, as we are in the second decade of the 21st century. As a consolation prize for Bears fans, here is some cheerleader video — featuring Broncos auditions:
The latest episode of The Onion’s fake reality series “Sex House” that features Ashley Lobo among its cast members. Ashley is a favorite around here and a former Chicago Blackhawks Ice Crew member (if you wanted there to be a sports connection; not that there needs to be one):
OK, and a random video, just for the heck of it. Well, maybe not totally random. Some video of Anna Kournikova, who recently did a photo shoot — and whose name made it into print when the New York Times compared American Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones to the former tennis standout known more for endorsements than triumphs:
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