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Sunday smorgasbord: The statistical-analysis department around here worked late into the night and has determined with a high degree of certainty (more likely high than certainty) that Chicago Cubs right-hander Jeff Samardzija will not win a game in which the team fails to score.
It’s always good to see Playboy’s Nikki Leigh.
* The Cubs’ 2-0 loss to the Philadelphia Phillies on Saturday at Wrigley Field Samardzija’s seven-inning effort that featured eight strikeouts (including the side in the seventh inning). So his trade value should remain high. Especially as the Cubs remain low in the National League Central standings (don’t look, but they are in last place — and, yes, it is early and they are tied with Cincinnati for the bottom spot).
* Cubs shortstop Starlin Castro had three hits and first baseman Anthony Rizzo two in the loss. That doubled the number of hits Rizzo had in the team’s first four games. Castro has five hits (all singles) for the season.
* Speaking of cellar dwellers, the White Sox — who lost 4-3 to the host Kansas City Royals — are tied for last in the American League Central with Minnesota. The bright (?) side for the Sox? Well, starter John Danks had a no-decision.
* Still speaking of last place, the Cubs are tied for last in the big leagues in runs scored (eight in five games) with the San Diego Padres. The statistical-analysis department around here has calculated that that averages out to fewer than two runs per game. If that offensive futility continues, the Cubs could be out of postseason contention by about the time Chicago schools begin summer vacation.
* Ex-Cub of the day: San Francisco center fielder Angel Pagan went 2-for-4 to raise his batting average to .407 in the Giants’ 7-2 victory over the Dodgers in Los Angeles.
* If Tornike Shengelia’s slam dunk after a D.J. Augustin steal and pass in the Chicago Bulls’ 96-78 victory at the Washington Wizards doesn’t make the team’s highlights for the 2013-14 season, then there is no God. Or at least no one in the organization with an appreciation for the seldom-used forward’s effort.
* The Bulls’ season will not be complete until center Joakim Noah makes a three-point field goal. OK, until he at least attempts a three-pointer.
* Speaking of the Bulls, a former player (that would be Kevin Ollie) is the coach of Connecticut — which defeated No. 1 seed and Noah’s alma mater Florida in the NCAA tournament Saturday to reach Monday’s championship game against Kentucky. In case Bulls fans (OK, other than perhaps Noah) are looking for someone/some team to root for.
* In a stunning development, Northwestern University football coach Pat Fitzgerald is urging his players to vote against joining a union. OK, it’s not stunning. Any coach at a big-time football or basketball program (and, yes, Northwestern does qualify in that regard) who would come out in favor of unionization likely could start looking for another job — at a junior high school possibly, if lucky.
Here is where to go for a daily dose of on==non-gratuitous video (thanks to the efforts of the editorial and video departments at ElliottHarris.com and the reality that they don’t know the meaning of “gratuitous” — among other words):