Songs of the Season, Anyone? Why Not!

Back by popular demand (as always, the demand is to do this only once a year), it’s the 15th annual version of Holiday Tunes.

Playboy’s Raquel Pomplun is ready for Christmas. Credit: Joel Flora Photography

The first 11 came as part of the Chicago Sun-Times Quick Hits column that I once wrote. For those who prefer, feel free to think of this as the fourth annual ElliottHarris.com “Songs of the Season” or whatever you’d like to call it.

Because Christmas once again falls on Dec. 25 this year, the editorial staff at ElliottHarris.com thought (which is something of a rarity, no?) today would be as good as any to run some merry melodies. By doing so, you will have them for Christmas Eve gatherings, Christmas Day gatherings, Chanukah (OK, a little late for that), etc. Once upon a time, the printed newspaper version also was suitable for holiday gift wrap. In a way, this is an environmentally more friendly form of
delivery.

Without further ado (although I admit to having used “adieu” on occasion), happy holidays (any and all) to you:

THE BEARS — SO WRONG
(sung to “The Christmas Song” by a choir of Bears fans – disgruntled as well as gruntled)

Shannon Ihrke always is welcome around here.

Trestman coming under intense fire,
Kromer adds to boss’s woes.
Tucker’s defense bogged down in a mire
And, folks, that’s how the season goes.

Everybody knows such turkeys
And Jay’s errant throws
Failed to make the season bright.
Upset fans who are quite in the know
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know it’s Bears-Vikes in four days.
Maybe in their last game
They’ll compete on Sunday,
And possibly Kromer again will cry
When someone tells him:
“Time to say your goodbyes.”

And so I’m offering this simple phrase
For fans from 1 to 92
Although it’s been said
Many times many ways:
Horrid football won’t do.

I’LL BE PLAYING CHRISTMAS
(to “I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” by Bulls guard Derrick Rose)

I’m be playing Christmas
You can count on me
You should know I’m good to go
To play against Kobe.

Injuries have hit me
Too often it seems.
I’ll be playing Christmas.
Yes! Hey, we all can dream.

I’m be playing Christmas
You can count on me
You should know I’m good to go
To play against Kobe

Injuries have hit me
Too often it seems
I’ll be playing Christmas
Yes! Hey, we all can dream.
Yes! Hey, we all can dream.

GIVE JIMMY BUTLER A NEW DEAL
(to “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” by a chorus of Bulls fans outside the United Center)

Give Jimmy Butler a new deal
Give Jimmy Butler a new deal
Give Jimmy Butler a new deal
To keep him on the Bulls.
Good scoring he brings to you and your team
Good defense as well and a championship dream.

Oh, re-sign our Jimmy Butler.
Oh, re-sign our Jimmy Butler.
Oh, re-sign our Jimmy Butler, so Bulls fans can all cheer.
We won’t go until it gets done.
We won’t go until it gets done.
We won’t go until it gets done.
Tell us you can hear.

Give Jimmy Butler a new deal
Give Jimmy Butler a new deal
Give Jimmy Butler a new deal
To keep him on the Bulls.

WRIGLEY NIGHT
(to “Silent Night” by a choir of Wrigleyville bar patrons)

Silent night! Weekday night!
All is calm, it’s all right;
Round yon ballpark ln disrepair
Bleachers not ready. Do we really care?
Drink in heavenly peace
Drink in heavenly peace.

What a night! Construction site!
Soon things will be done right.
Renovation can be a bitch.
Cannot wait for opening pitch.
We’re set for Cubs’ rebirth,
We’re set for Cubs rebirth.

Silent night! Construction site!
Some fans squeal in delight.
Bleacher dreams from neighborhood bars
Heavenly hosts say, “Have another.”
Wrigley Field gets reborn,
Wrigley Field gets reborn!

WE’RE DREAMING OF A WORLD SERIES
(to “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” by the trio of White Sox officials Jerry Reinsdorf, Ken Williams and Rick Hahn)

We’re dreaming of a World Series
Just like the one we used to know;
Where the bats are thumping
And fans are jumping
We love how our pitchers throw!

We’re dreaming of a World Series
With every contract that we write
Expect this season to delight
Fans better show up at The Cell, right?

SOX WILL DO YA!
(to “Hallellujah” by a chorus of Sox fans)

Jeff Samardzija! Melky Cabrera!
David Robertson! Zach Duke! Adam LaRoche!

Jeff Samardzija! Melky Cabrera!
David Robertson! Zach Duke! Adam LaRoche!

Our offseason dealings looking quite good.
Samardzija, Robertson, lefty Zack Duke, Adam LaRoche
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

JOSE ABREU
(to “Feliz Navidad” by Sox manager Robin Ventura)

Jose Abreu,
What more can you do?
Jose Abreu,
Cannot wait to see in 2015.

Jose Abreu,
What more can you do?
Jose Abreu,
Cannot wait to see in 2015.

I wanna see you hit 40 home runs,
I wanna see you hit 40 home runs,
Or maybe see you hit 50 home runs.
From the bottom of my heart.

JON LESTER IS COMING TO TOWN
(to “Santa Claus Is Coming to town by Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer)

Cards better watch out,
We’ll sure make them cry;
Batters will pout,
We’re telling you why:
Jon Lester is coming to town.

We did make a list
And did check it twice.
Gonna find out
If he’s worth the price.
Jon Lester is coming to town.

We’ve known him since the Red Sox
Where we enjoyed success.
We know how good that he can be.
Time to end this Cubbie mess.

NL better watch out,
We’ll make ‘em cry.
We’ll win in a rout
We’re telling you why:
Jon Lester is coming to town.

GO, PAU GASOL!
(to “O Tannenbaum,” by the trio of Bulls overlords John Paxson, Gar Forman and Tom Thibodeau)

Yo, Pau Gasol; oh, Pau Gasol
You really have adjusted.
Hey, Pau Gasol; say, Pau Gasol,
In you we all have trusted.

Your points and boards (double-doubles)
Help keep us avoid major troubles.
Oh, Pau Gasol; thanks, Pau Gasol
For making us three look good.

Yo, Pau Gasol; oh, Pau Gasou,
Your impact has been quite immense,
Oh, Pau Gasol; oh, Pau Gasol,
Thanks for also playing defense.

We saw you star when in L.A.
So we were sure that you could play
Oh, Pau Gasol; oh, Pau Gasol
Who misses Carlos Boozer?

“WAIT’LL”
(The ever-popular classic, to ”Dreidel” by a Chicagoland chorus of pro sports teams’ fans – with the possible exception of Blackhawks fans who still may be basking in the warmth of recent Stanley Cup crowns)

We preach a little wait’ll,
Whenever our teams play;
And when they’re good and ready,
Then ”wait’ll,” we won’t say.
Wait’ll, wait’ll, wait’ll
Oh ”wait’ll’,’ we must say;
Wait’ll, wait’ll, wait’ll,
Next year is on the way.

Here is where to go for daily dose of non-gratuitous video (thanks to the elfish efforts of the editorial and video departments at ElliottHarris.com). Today has some Christmas tunes as well as what most people generally expect to see around here: